A while back I posted a similar blog relating to cyber-bullying. Although I”d love to say, “It doesn’t happen here”, I am a realist. When contacted by parents who have a child being bullied via text messaging, Facebook, IM, or any other form of electronic communication, I will normally ask them if they have contacted the perpetrator’s parents. In almost every instance they haven’t and generally for two pretty good reasons. First, most parents feel uncomfortable contacting another parent about such matters. Conflict is just not something most of us are really comfortable managing. The second most common reason is the fear of retaliation towards themself or their child.
The long arm of the law from a school’s perspective doesn’t stretch much beyond the confines of the school environment; unless of course the problem begins to manifest itself here at school or affects a child’s desire to come to school. However, it’s important to note that when such problems crop up at home, and we (parents and school officials) don’t see the issue playing out at school at that moment, I’m often forced to tell a parent to either contact the other set of parents and, in some instances, to contact law enforcement. As of this posting, we have or are dealing with three such situations. So what can you do?
Having children of my own who can crank out a couple thousand text messages a month each, and who have Facebook pages, and who have their own email accounts, and who IM their friends, I know first hand what I call E-bullying can look like. Every parent takes their own approach in monitoring their child’s activities with such resources. For me, I took a one step approach that may seem unconventional to many of you but I believe it’s what MY kids would understand. In short I tell them, “If you choose to have a Facebook account, utilize texting options on your phone, or IM your friends and so on, YOU are entirely responsible for the content you post or send.” Do I monitor every single posting? Absolutely not. There is a degree of trust that I place squarely in their lap which is not to say that I’m disengaged but is merely to point out to them that once my wife and I made these options accessible to them, it was at a time when we felt they were mature enough to handle it and fully understand the consequences of misusing these forms of communication. Our kids did not get their first cell phone until their sophomore year in high school when time away from home and multiple school activities kept them out of contact with us more and more. I’m not here to say this rule applies to every household, I’m simply sharing what I believe was best for our kids.
Several years ago, we were faced with a situation in which our youngest was first getting involved with Facebook and posting pictures. After an incident at school, I took the time to show her just how easy it was to take Facebook information from her page and manipulate and use it how I saw fit. This simple demonstration resonated with her (to the point of tears) in just how precarious it is to post personal information and pictures on Facebook. Now, let me be the first to say, my wife and I are not the kind of parents who proclaim, “My kid would never ________________,” or “When I have kids they won’t __________________”. Those two phrases are the kiss of death!! Having served in public education for 24 years, I’ve heard these comments from parents and without fail it ends up backfiring on them. Kids are kids and will always do what kids do which is to push the boundaries consistent with their own personal level of risk.
I urge you to take a few minutes and talk to your child about what they post for the rest of the world to see. Once the “Send” or “Post” button is pushed it’s nearly impossible to, if you pardon the cliché’, unring the bell. Should your child find themself a victim of e-bullying we encourage parents to utilize the Print Screen (PrtScn) feature on your computer or to simply do a Copy/Paste on to a Word document for documentation purposes. If the e-bullying is taking place at home, we may not be able to do much here at school but we will certainly do what we can to provide options and support to you and your child.
Mr. Kwikkel – Principal
Mr. Price – Interventionist
